Painful intercourse is a common problem for women, but many of them don’t tell their partner about the pain, new research in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reveals.
In a study of 382 women who experienced painful sex, only 51% discussed the issue with their partner.
Why didn’t they mention it? The researchers discovered four main themes among the women’s responses:
- Pain was “normal.” Some women said they expected sex to be painful. “It always happens, nothing new,” said one woman. Another responded, “It’s pretty typical that I will have some amount of pain during sex; if we stop just because it hurts, we’d never have sex.”
- Pain was “not worth mentioning.” For some women, the pain was not severe enough or did not last long enough to warrant discussion. Some made adjustments. “I repositioned him, and that fixed it,” one said.
- The partner’s pleasure was “more important.” In some cases, women prioritized their partner’s satisfaction over their own. One said, “I believed the sex would become less enjoyable for him,” if she told him about the pain. Another explained that she was “fulfilling his needs, not mine.” Others indicated that their pain would not matter to their partners. “He already knows that I have pain most of the time, but still insists on having sex,” one woman remarked.
- They didn’t want to make things “awkward.” Some respondents felt embarrassed about the pain and didn’t want to complain. Others didn’t want to bruise a partner’s masculinity or put pressure on their relationship.
Women should know that intercourse doesn’t have to be painful. If you’re in this situation, consider talking to your partner and your gynecologist. A sex therapist can help, too.
Resources
The Journal of Sexual Medicine
Carter, Allison, PhD, MPH, et al.
““Fulfilling His Needs, Not Mine”: Reasons for Not Talking About Painful Sex and Associations with Lack of Pleasure in a Nationally Representative Sample of Women in the United States”
(Full-text. Published online: September 21, 2019)
https://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(19)31385-2/fulltext
You may also be interested in...
Other Popular Articles
What Is Jelqing, and Does It Actually Work?
The term “jelqing” refers to a set of penis stretching exercises that some believe can make the penis bigger. Although the practice has gained attention and popularity in blogs and internet forums in recent years, there is no scientific evidence that it is an effective way to permanently increase the size of one’s penis. In fact, in some cases, jelqing may actually cause damage to the penis, so it is a good idea to get all the facts before setting off to try it.
What Is Sensate Focus and How Does It Work?
Sensate focus is a technique used to improve intimacy and communication between partners around sex, reduce sexual performance anxiety, and shift away from ingrained, goal-oriented sexual patterns that may not be serving a couple.
What Is the Average Penis Size?
If you have ever wondered how your penis compares to others in terms of size, you are not alone. Many men are curious to know how their penises stack up compared to the average. Unfortunately, general curiosity can sometimes give way to full-on obsession and anxiety about penis size. This can be an unhealthy and often unnecessary fixation, especially because most men who think their penises are too small have perfectly normal-sized penises.
What Is Edging and Why Do People Do It?
Edging is the practice of stopping sexual stimulation before reaching orgasm to prolong a sexual experience. The term stems from the concept of approaching the metaphorical “edge” of orgasm but stopping before going over the edge.
Can Sex Reduce Menstrual Cramps?
The SMSNA periodically receives and publishes ‘guest editorials.’ The current article was submitted by Mia Barnes, a freelance writer and researcher who specializes in women's health, wellness, and healthy living. She is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Body+Mind Magazine.
Having sex while you experience menstrual cramps is healthy and can provide significant benefits. While it might not be the first activity that comes to mind when your PMS or period cramping begins, many people enjoy sex to reduce menstrual cramps, experience increased pleasure and benefit from other advantages. Learn more about having sex while menstrual cramps are happening and how it can help your body.
The Sex-Positivity Movement: What it Means to Be Sex-Positive
You may have heard references to “being sex-positive” or “the sex-positivity movement” in popular culture. Various celebrities have brought attention to this movement by speaking out about their beliefs and personal experiences regarding sexuality, sexual health, body positivity, “slut-shaming,” and sexual assault.
